Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
