I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I love having hate sex.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
