so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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