I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Vodka?
Forever.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
