Don't make out with my wife yet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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