I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
