I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
