your room smells of hookers.
And success
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bring me that man meat
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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