I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
