Kareoke will never be a sober sport
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
