don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
