i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
