she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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