she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
