She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
