Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
