Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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