I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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