so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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