And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
