Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
