That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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