I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize