It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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