This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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