You made me cry and you don't even care
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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