Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
