Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
