Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
