sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
