So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
