That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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