Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
