I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
