Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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