Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize