sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
