I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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