i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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