You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize