sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
