No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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