They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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