Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..