Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
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Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
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I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...