I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick