i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize