i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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