My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
