Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
