I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
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Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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