i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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