I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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