So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
