put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
