kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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