Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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