i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
