One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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