So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
