she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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