I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
