The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
