I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
