To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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